Monthly Archives: July 2015




I’ve been doing everything I possibly can not to write about you.

I shut down my computer.  I make more plans.  I thwart my own desire to write.

I don’t tell friends your name, I won’t introduce you.  I put your flowers on the coffee table and stuffed the hand written note into the top left drawer of my dresser. Then suddenly, in a moment of recklessness, yanked it out and put it in my purse.

Unbeknownst to you, for the last two weeks I’ve been carrying your words, your crooked k’s and i’s dotted far to the left, everywhere I go. I know I’m falling for you. I’m fighting it every step of the god damned way.


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It’s About Time To Shine


et cetera

I have been sulking and moping around for too long.

I still haven’t fully recovered from the past, but I saw an opportunity open up recently. I was able to get a break from seeing certain people. It’s not that I resent them or whatever, but I need time away from them. As in not see them or hear from them at a certain amount of time.

Recovering from a heartbreak is somehow like coming out of rehab.It takes time and effort, and inevitable ofrelapse.

I haven’t been over it most probably because of the fact that I haven’t let go of what I should have. I hold on to certain memories because I don’t want to forget them, which should not be the case because I have claimed that I do not want to be tied up with that person anymore. But, there is still this…

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Note to self 10; (white buffalo)


For those of you who haven’t heard the term white buffalo it’s basically “the one that got away whether they left a relationship with you or they just had to go somewhere else”. I was introduced to this term yesterday when my best friend accidentally broke my heart. See there’s this girl he met back in Florida two years ago. Well she left before they got close and now she’s around him in Arizona. He hasn’t been talking to her. They just kinda bumped into each other.  So here i am, Trying to get my life together and the one thing i was counting on is gone now to. He was my smile when things got rough here. He was my comfort. Quite honestly he still is. I still adore him and I’m not mad. Just hurt. I told him he should take her to the ball and that it was probably best not to come out there. I don’t wanna mess anything up. Not to mention i know I’d end up crying and embarrassing myself. So i guess all that’s left for me to do is move somewhere and keep going. Only time can tell. Maybe they’re meant to be or maybe he’ll decide she’s not the one he wants. Who knows? I know she’s beautiful. I know she doesn’t know hime the way i do, and i hope he chooses the one who makes him happy.


Sensual Carnality




She looked at him
as if she wanted
to devour him from
head to toe.
She touched him
with a hunger that
longed to be satiated.
His very essence
exuded carnality.
He was the epitome
of strength and control.
She was hit with
a craving to taste
every last inch of skin.
Sensuality emanated
from his very core,
and she longed to
get drunk on him.


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