Category Archives: note to self

Note to self 13; (fate?)

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Worry no more my darling. That’s all i can tell myself.  May 2017 my best friend comes home. No questions about it. He’s got a lot of regrets and hurt going on in his mind and chest. But, I’m doing my best to ease it. I can’t help but wonder if this is all truly meant to be. I mean he was considering another 5 yrs and once i find ou,t not even 3 weeks later, he is told he’ll be medically discharged the end of this contract. I’m happy because he’ll finally be home. However i know it’s hard for him not having the option to go back to all he’s known the last 3 1/2 yrs. I’m scared this is all too good to be true, but i wanna believe in him so badly. Just gotta follow my soul.

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Note to self 12; (everyone should go blonde at least once)

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No, seriously. Everyone! All you have to do is determine your natural skin tone you can determine which blonde is best for you. I’m so glad he told me to do it. I’m absolutely in love. Saturday his mom will be getting me to the finished product. Something has been bugging the hell out of me about going blonde and i finally gave in. So I’ll be going to the ball as a blonde. Post any opinions! I would love feed back from anyone 🙂

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Note to self 11; (everything happens in time)

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So today i got a text from him. We were having a casual conversation which was rather odd for us lately, given the circumstances. Then he asked. Apparently his white buffalo didn’t really know what she wanted. (How could you not want him though?) So maybe i will make the trip to Arizona. I’m a little hesitant because i want him to know I’m not just going to be the back up plan. However,  he’s coming home in october for a week and he says he wants to surprise me, but i dunno if that’ll actually happen. I do know that i can once again smile because of him. He even said he’s been thinking about those to weeks. I told him about the flash backs and the cold chills i get from the memories. I’ve missed his touch so badly, but i know now that things truly do fall in place for the better one you give it time. the last week has shown me that countless times. I just need to let my should guide me.

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Note to self 10; (white buffalo)

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For those of you who haven’t heard the term white buffalo it’s basically “the one that got away whether they left a relationship with you or they just had to go somewhere else”. I was introduced to this term yesterday when my best friend accidentally broke my heart. See there’s this girl he met back in Florida two years ago. Well she left before they got close and now she’s around him in Arizona. He hasn’t been talking to her. They just kinda bumped into each other.  So here i am, Trying to get my life together and the one thing i was counting on is gone now to. He was my smile when things got rough here. He was my comfort. Quite honestly he still is. I still adore him and I’m not mad. Just hurt. I told him he should take her to the ball and that it was probably best not to come out there. I don’t wanna mess anything up. Not to mention i know I’d end up crying and embarrassing myself. So i guess all that’s left for me to do is move somewhere and keep going. Only time can tell. Maybe they’re meant to be or maybe he’ll decide she’s not the one he wants. Who knows? I know she’s beautiful. I know she doesn’t know hime the way i do, and i hope he chooses the one who makes him happy.

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Note to self 5; ( tumblr doesn’t have all the answers )

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No matter how many different ways you type it into google tumblr isn’t going to have it! Stop trying to find it because it doesn’t exist. No one is going to be able to write everything you feel. Not everyone is going to be able to tell you exactly what to do, what to think, how to feel, or even how he feels. You have to learn as it happens. It may seem new and scary, but look at how happy you are. He brightens the fire in you and your fire to his skin remember.  Just enjoy every second because he’s going to be your best.
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