Category Archives: teen

Finally…

Standard

“You know you’re my girl right?”
It happened. It really happened. He’s mine….I’m his. There’s actually an us. I can’t even think straight. I’m just smiling like a goof. I didn’t know anyone could be this happy at 3 in the morning. I actually dating my best friend. The one guys who knows me more than anyone. Ughhh. ♡♡♡♡

image

Follow your soul 👣

Standard

Deep breath. Focus. I’ve never had such a difficult time putting how i feel into words, at least written words. With him though, it’s not easy by any means. I don’t how to explain exactly how i feel. I know that i go from excited, to anxious,  happy, & back to being scared. I’m hoping that this all works out. I’m hoping that he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m hoping he doesn’t give up on himself, or get scared of a commitment to me later. I want so badly to be everything he needs, but I’m scared shitless of that idea to. It just seems too good to be true and I’m so scared that all I’ll think about is when I’m going to lose him. I haven’t had this thought up until now, but what if i really can’t look past how easy this all is. What if he’s mine and i can’t get past being terrified of how long it’ll be before i lose him? It’s almost stressful to think about. I wish he was home already. I find myself missing him more and more the closer it get to seeing him. It seems like we’re meeting for the first time almost. Thinking about it gives me butterflies almost, just because of my nerves. I assume it’s due to the fact that their have been so many feelings and emotions voiced. Before we were just friends who flirted and now it’s like we’re practically together. I’m ready for long nights down back roads, tangled up in that truck again. I’m ready to hear his voice sooth me, & to feel his hands in my hair. I need to kiss him so badly it almost hurts. I’m ready to make more of the happiest memories of my life. I miss feeling my soul shine in my eyes & looking over to see him starring at me. I missed how we engulfed each other and built a volcano out of match.
image

Note to self 13; (fate?)

Standard

Worry no more my darling. That’s all i can tell myself.  May 2017 my best friend comes home. No questions about it. He’s got a lot of regrets and hurt going on in his mind and chest. But, I’m doing my best to ease it. I can’t help but wonder if this is all truly meant to be. I mean he was considering another 5 yrs and once i find ou,t not even 3 weeks later, he is told he’ll be medically discharged the end of this contract. I’m happy because he’ll finally be home. However i know it’s hard for him not having the option to go back to all he’s known the last 3 1/2 yrs. I’m scared this is all too good to be true, but i wanna believe in him so badly. Just gotta follow my soul.

image

An open letter to my person.

Standard

So never did i expect to be here at this point with you. Over the last 4 year there have been nothing but memories full of smiles with you. Watching as you broke everyother girls heart and as you started your career. Before last summer when you came home one of our friends mentioned you thought we were closer than i thought you did. Of course we flirted here and there, but that last night you were home before deployment sparked something i never saw until now.
You mean so much to me and knowing that you’re feelings for me have become more than a crush makes me happy. I’m glad i can be someone special to you. The energy between us is so intense it’s beautiful to me. No one told me that such a feeling could exsist. I’ve never felt so at peace with someone. You’re so good at just being everything i need, and to know that i have given you something to fight for makes we wanna cry. I miss you so much all the time. I’m trying to keep my guard up because I’m nervous i won’t be what you need like you think. I’m staying positive though because i want this. I wanna be with the one person who warms my soul and makes me smile uncontrollably. The persom who makes everything seem easier and allows me to breathe and endure life without fear.
I know in the long run i may not get to keep you as mine, but whatever the case you’ll always be my go to. You’re the best advice when I’m over thinking,
& my favorite smile when i can’t find my own. So thank you for not just being my person, but my best friends as well. I can’t wait to see where our future takes us. The next two months will be some of our best. I know the goodbyes will be hard but the memories we’ll make will be worth it. Just remember I’ll see you soon!

Blonde update!

Standard

image

So his mom asked a questions and it was kinda of hard but i understand she’s just looking out for me. She’s worried he’ll play me like other girls, but she doesn’t know all the details. I know there’s things he doesn’t want me to say and i plan to keep my word. I trust him because he says i make him feel like he has life in him again. Today he got some bad news and might have to come home early. I feel so bad for him because he was considering staying another 5yrs. However, he still has a good future ahead of him and i hope i can actually be part of it when he comes home. He’s such a good man and i adore him. I’m ready for all the good and the bad. ♡

image

Note to self 12; (everyone should go blonde at least once)

Standard

No, seriously. Everyone! All you have to do is determine your natural skin tone you can determine which blonde is best for you. I’m so glad he told me to do it. I’m absolutely in love. Saturday his mom will be getting me to the finished product. Something has been bugging the hell out of me about going blonde and i finally gave in. So I’ll be going to the ball as a blonde. Post any opinions! I would love feed back from anyone 🙂

image

image