I did it again guys! I’ve tried something new with my hair and I so far I love it. I seem to find myself doing more and more differently. Given that it’s fall I’d like to believe that this is just the beginning of change before the new chapter. I am thankful for the new year ahead, and hope to grow this blog into something great. Cheers to all, & do feel free to leave suggestions on topics.
- dont wanna get up
- Five more minutes
- I’m gonna look like shit
- OKAY FINE IM UP
- oh..my..god I look like the grudge
- MAKEUP TIME
- I have a spot
- TOUCH IT
- no. Don’t touch it
- Ah fuck I touched it
- Ew it’s yellow
- GONNA CONCEAL THAT SHIT
- bad hair day
- Every day is a bad hair day.
- Let’s put this shit up
- I look like shit
- Ahh fuck it
- Got a belly ache
- OH GOD NOOOO
- It’s happened.
- fuck AWESOME
- well I’m going to be in a good fucking mood.
- I hate everyone.
- Look at that girl
- Look at her thighs
- They don’t touch
- Mine touch
- NO. boys like curvy girls.
- Please say boys like curvy girls
- Eugh she looks like a stick
- She’s so unnatractive
- Bet she’s a slut
- NO I BET SHES GOT A REALLY HOT BOYF WHO LOVES HER
- I hate school. I…
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I’ve been doing everything I possibly can not to write about you.
I shut down my computer. I make more plans. I thwart my own desire to write.
I don’t tell friends your name, I won’t introduce you. I put your flowers on the coffee table and stuffed the hand written note into the top left drawer of my dresser. Then suddenly, in a moment of recklessness, yanked it out and put it in my purse.
Unbeknownst to you, for the last two weeks I’ve been carrying your words, your crooked k’s and i’s dotted far to the left, everywhere I go. I know I’m falling for you. I’m fighting it every step of the god damned way.
I have been sulking and moping around for too long.
I still haven’t fully recovered from the past, but I saw an opportunity open up recently. I was able to get a break from seeing certain people. It’s not that I resent them or whatever, but I need time away from them. As in not see them or hear from them at a certain amount of time.
Recovering from a heartbreak is somehow like coming out of rehab.It takes time and effort, and inevitable ofrelapse.
I haven’t been over it most probably because of the fact that I haven’t let go of what I should have. I hold on to certain memories because I don’t want to forget them, which should not be the case because I have claimed that I do not want to be tied up with that person anymore. But, there is still this…
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Absolutely what i needed.
Nevermind the emotional mess of the last few months, nevermind the feeling that sometimes I cannot control my emotions as much as I wish to try, nevermind all of the things that keep me from executing a plan. At some point, for me, realizations come in, and I, the I that lives in the outside world, that sees people and has interactions, is sloshed about from side to side in a wave of impulses that my brain seemingly decides at random. I’m at the bottom of the trough beginning to crest. Hopefully this is something more significant that a slippy little eddy.
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Well I’ve been holding off on my new years post but now since I have nothing else to do I’ll take a second to say a few things. It’s finally 2015. The yr i barely made it to. Last yr was indeed a rollercoaster. Hopefully this one won’t be the same. I finally have found some stability in my life. In two months I’ll be 18. In five months I’ll be walking across a stage in front of my whole town with the best friends anyone could ask for. In about seven months I’ll be starting college in athens. Oh and I can’t forget, my recovery. October will be one yr clean of self harm. This yr is going to be my year, literally. I’m finally starting MY life. I’m gunna miss each and everyone of my friends as I do those that are no longer around. 2015 is going to be the most intimidating, scary, yet exciting year for me. I’ll finally be able to be my own person with my own little family. Fur baby family that is haha. So hears to a new & eventful year! ♡
I don’t believe in new years because I believe we all have our own destiny. I don’t think it’s fair to set yourself up to possibly become disappointed with yourself. It’s not healthy in my opinion it’s good to have goals, of course, but why is it we’re all ready to jump on the new year bandwagon? Because It’s tradition? Why can’t we make our own traditions? Like a tradition of being yourself instead of trying to be like the society that surrounds us. We are our own beings and we need to start acting like it. I guess, if I must have a resolution, that’s what it would be. To be more original. Originality is inspiring & that’s what I want. I want to inspire others and those that I inspire to also inspire more. We are our future. We must discover our individuality and use it to make a positive difference in the world before we lose ourselves in it.