Energy 

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I completely get this.

Here is to the Curious

Have you ever felt this weird energy with someone, that you start wondering if you’re just going crazy or if they feel it too? There’s something about this person that pulls you to them but you just can’t put a finger on it. When you’re in close proximity with each other your body reacts to their presence in a way you’ve never felt before. It’s confusing and weird and unexpected all at the same time. Then when you finally get to have physical contact, you feel surprisingly completely comfortable. With all that, in the back of your mind you ask yourself, “Is it you?”

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An open letter to my person.

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So never did i expect to be here at this point with you. Over the last 4 year there have been nothing but memories full of smiles with you. Watching as you broke everyother girls heart and as you started your career. Before last summer when you came home one of our friends mentioned you thought we were closer than i thought you did. Of course we flirted here and there, but that last night you were home before deployment sparked something i never saw until now.
You mean so much to me and knowing that you’re feelings for me have become more than a crush makes me happy. I’m glad i can be someone special to you. The energy between us is so intense it’s beautiful to me. No one told me that such a feeling could exsist. I’ve never felt so at peace with someone. You’re so good at just being everything i need, and to know that i have given you something to fight for makes we wanna cry. I miss you so much all the time. I’m trying to keep my guard up because I’m nervous i won’t be what you need like you think. I’m staying positive though because i want this. I wanna be with the one person who warms my soul and makes me smile uncontrollably. The persom who makes everything seem easier and allows me to breathe and endure life without fear.
I know in the long run i may not get to keep you as mine, but whatever the case you’ll always be my go to. You’re the best advice when I’m over thinking,
& my favorite smile when i can’t find my own. So thank you for not just being my person, but my best friends as well. I can’t wait to see where our future takes us. The next two months will be some of our best. I know the goodbyes will be hard but the memories we’ll make will be worth it. Just remember I’ll see you soon!

Blonde update!

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So his mom asked a questions and it was kinda of hard but i understand she’s just looking out for me. She’s worried he’ll play me like other girls, but she doesn’t know all the details. I know there’s things he doesn’t want me to say and i plan to keep my word. I trust him because he says i make him feel like he has life in him again. Today he got some bad news and might have to come home early. I feel so bad for him because he was considering staying another 5yrs. However, he still has a good future ahead of him and i hope i can actually be part of it when he comes home. He’s such a good man and i adore him. I’m ready for all the good and the bad. ♡

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Note to self 12; (everyone should go blonde at least once)

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No, seriously. Everyone! All you have to do is determine your natural skin tone you can determine which blonde is best for you. I’m so glad he told me to do it. I’m absolutely in love. Saturday his mom will be getting me to the finished product. Something has been bugging the hell out of me about going blonde and i finally gave in. So I’ll be going to the ball as a blonde. Post any opinions! I would love feed back from anyone 🙂

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What Went Through My Mind When I Was At High School

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vickibutlerxox

  • dont wanna get up
  • Five more minutes
  • I’m gonna look like shit
  • OKAY FINE IM UP
  • oh..my..god I look like the grudge
  • MAKEUP TIME
  • I have a spot
  • TOUCH IT
  • no. Don’t touch it
  • Ah fuck I touched it
  • Ew it’s yellow
  • GONNA CONCEAL THAT SHIT
  • bad hair day
  • Every day is a bad hair day.
  • Let’s put this shit up
  • I look like shit
  • Ahh fuck it
  • Got a belly ache
  • Wait
  • WAIT
  • NOOOO
  • OH GOD NOOOO
  • yep.
  • It’s happened.
  • Period.
  • fuck AWESOME
  • well I’m going to be in a good fucking mood.
  • I hate everyone.
  • Look at that girl
  • Look at her thighs
  • They don’t touch
  • Mine touch
  • NO. boys like curvy girls.
  • Please say boys like curvy girls
  • Eugh she looks like a stick
  • She’s so unnatractive
  • Bet she’s a slut
  • NO I BET SHES GOT A REALLY HOT BOYF WHO LOVES HER
  • I hate school. I…

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Note to self 11; (everything happens in time)

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So today i got a text from him. We were having a casual conversation which was rather odd for us lately, given the circumstances. Then he asked. Apparently his white buffalo didn’t really know what she wanted. (How could you not want him though?) So maybe i will make the trip to Arizona. I’m a little hesitant because i want him to know I’m not just going to be the back up plan. However,  he’s coming home in october for a week and he says he wants to surprise me, but i dunno if that’ll actually happen. I do know that i can once again smile because of him. He even said he’s been thinking about those to weeks. I told him about the flash backs and the cold chills i get from the memories. I’ve missed his touch so badly, but i know now that things truly do fall in place for the better one you give it time. the last week has shown me that countless times. I just need to let my should guide me.

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