So the last time I was posting I was in a completely different place. I am here to catch up, & perhaps take another jab at this.
To begin with, I started this page as extra credit in high school which lead to me finding a new outlet for my emotions. Now I want to take this in a new more serious & hopefully helpful direction. I would like to focus my ideas towards benefiting the mental health community.
I will also be posting more in general about a variety of topics including where I’ve been the last two years. Any suggestions will be welcome so just leave a comment below any post. I would like to close this by telling you all the exciting news.
I have been recruited by earthbound and will be looking forward to the oppurtunity. The pay is less but happiness is key. Ready to be surrounded by good vibes and kind people.
Ear buds in, music up, eyes closed, deep breath. This is home, the place my heart lives, surrounded by a wall of light to block this wave of darkness. The moment this darkness consumes the light I’m lost, lost in agony, trying to swim out…looking for a release. As of right now though there’s still a chance to beat it. There’s still hope. H.O.P.E. Being surrounded by this madness doesn’t mean I have to give in. It doesn’t mean I have to cry, to scream, to be scared or to relapse. It simply means I must fight the battle I always have, & as long as I know to keep fighting, I can still fight. With the will to fight comes courage and with courage anything may be conquered. This is my light. My light is the HOPE, the COURAGE, the MEANING I still have, & this is how i survive this hell.
She walks through the halls with a smile & a laugh. She goes to bed in tears and shakes. She is me. Each day I wake up and swallow this white pill. Created to change me and morph me into some kind of puppet. Addictive chemicals altering my brain, but still don’t stop pain. No one sees it, but every second of every minute of ever hour of every day I face a battle. Not just any kind of battles though. Battles that, under the surface, create a war. A war against anxiety and depression. A war against hate, anger, & self harm. Every day I wish it would just stop just so I could be at peace. When I relapse it’s the hardest thing on me. It kills me to fail myself. One day though I Will win the war, & except myself. I will smile and laugh with meaning, & I will look at my reflection and know I am truly happy.